Myth: Fulfillment comes from doing more, being more, achieving more
I had lunch with a friend recently who perfectly captured something I see everywhere.
She holds a senior position at a consulting practice, volunteers on two nonprofit boards, leads her company's diversity initiative, mentors two junior colleagues, and recently started a podcast.
When I asked how she was feeling about everything, she paused for a long moment.
It didn’t feel good. Later she shared with me:
"Laura, I thought if I just did more, achieved more, became more visible in my field, I'd finally feel... enough. But I'm exhausted all the time, my family barely sees me, and honestly? I feel more empty than I did when I started."
She'd fallen into "the more trap"... the belief that fulfillment comes from adding layers to who you are instead of uncovering who you already are.
And it's slowly stealing the souls of some of the most capable people I know.
What’s The Myth?
That fulfillment comes from doing more, being more, achieving more.
More credentials will make you feel credible. More responsibilities will make you feel important. More recognition will make you feel worthy. More impact will make you feel fulfilled.
So we stack qualification on top of qualification. We say yes to opportunity after opportunity. We stretch ourselves thinner and thinner, believing that somewhere on the other side of "more" we'll finally find what we're looking for.
But that’s not the truth.
The fulfillment you're seeking isn't hiding under another layer of achievement. It's waiting to be uncovered beneath the layers you've already built.
The Truth About Authentic Fulfillment
When was the last time you felt genuinely fulfilled? Not the temporary high of accomplishment or the fleeting satisfaction of recognition, but that deep, steady sense of goodness that comes from being exactly who you're meant to be?
If you're struggling to remember, it's not because you haven't achieved enough. It's because you've been looking for yourself in all the wrong places.
True fulfillment doesn't come from doing more. It comes from becoming more of who you already are.
The 4 A's Framework: From Striving to Becoming
As discussed in my book Shine Brighter, I've developed a framework that helps high-achievers make this shift from endless striving to authentic becoming. It's called the 4 A's: Awareness, Attitude, Action, and Alignment.
Here’s how it works:
AWARENESS: See What's Really Happening
The first step is getting honest about your current pattern. Are you adding more to your life because it genuinely energizes you, or because you think it will finally make you feel worthy?
Start noticing: When do you feel most like yourself? What activities make you lose track of time? When do you feel energized versus drained?
My friend realized that despite all her commitments, the only time she felt truly alive was during the strategic planning sessions she facilitated. Everything else was just noise.
ATTITUDE: Shift Your Relationship with Enough
This is where we challenge the core belief driving the "more" addiction: the idea that you're not enough as you are.
Instead of asking "What else can I achieve?" start asking "What would it look like to fully express who I already am?"
Instead of "How can I do more?" ask "How can I do what matters most from my authentic center?"
ACTION: Make Aligned Choices
Now comes the hard part: actually saying no to opportunities that don't align with your authentic self, even when they look good on paper.
My friend resigned from one of her board positions and turned down several speaking opportunities. Scary? Yes. But it created space for her to go deeper in the areas that actually lit her up.
ALIGNMENT: Integrate Your Authentic Self
The final step is bringing your whole, authentic self to everything you choose to keep. No more compartmentalizing. No more performing different versions of yourself for different audiences.
When you're aligned, you don't need to do more things to feel fulfilled. You need a deeper expression of who you truly are.
Your Micro-Move This Week
Ready to test this for yourself?
Pick one area of your life where you've been trying to do "more" to feel fulfilled. Instead of adding something new, ask yourself: "What would it look like to bring more of my authentic self to what I'm already doing?"
Maybe that means having more genuine conversations with your team instead of networking with more people. Maybe it means going deeper with current clients instead of chasing new business. Maybe it means saying no to one commitment so you can show up more fully for what remains.
Try one experiment in authentic expression this week. See what shifts when you stop adding layers and start uncovering who you really are.
Your job isn't to become someone else. It's to have the courage to let who you really are shine through everything you choose to do.
That kind of authenticity? It's magnetic. It draws the right opportunities, the right people, the right kind of success to you.
When you stop performing and start living, you don't just find fulfillment, you become a source of it for everyone around you.
Ready to stop chasing more and start uncovering the authentic you that's been there all along? The world needs what you have to give when it's coming from your truest self. [Book an Activation Call], I’m here to help.
With deep belief in your magnificence,
Laura
P.S. If you've been running on the "more treadmill" feeling exhausted but not fulfilled, you're definitely not alone. Many high achievers are discovering that the answer isn't just addition, but authenticity. We're all learning to trust that who we are is not only enough, but exactly what the world needs from us. One authentic step at a time.