Mirror, mirror, on the wall…
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What actually accelerates your growth
Independence isn't doing everything yourself
Micro moves you can make today
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“We can only see ourselves clearly when we let others reflect back to us.”
What I'm Noticing
I used to wear my independence like armor.
Need help with something? No thanks, I've got it. Someone offering to take something off my plate? I'm good. A trusted friend trying to show me a blind spot? I'd smile politely and then go right back to doing things my way.
I thought that's what strength looked like. Handling everything myself. Never needing anyone. Proving I could carry it all.
However, what I've been noticing lately, both in my own life and in numerous conversations with high achievers, is that we've become really good at going it alone. Almost too good. We take pride in our independence, our ability to figure things out, and our capacity to handle whatever comes our way.
And somewhere along the way, that independence gave way to isolation.
This year, things shifted for me. I started letting people in. Not just casually, but really in. I brought people into my business who could see what I couldn't. I invited trusted voices to guide me through decisions I'd normally white-knuckle alone. I stopped trying to be good at everything and started letting others shine in their zones of genius while I stayed in mine.
And you know what happened? I grew more in these past months than I had in years of doing it all myself.
Not because I was broken or incapable. But because I finally had mirrors.
People who could reflect back to me what I was missing. Who could gently point out the patterns I couldn't see from operating far too long inside them. Who could show me not just my blind spots, but also my own brilliance when I'd lost sight of it.
So many of us are walking around thinking we have to do it all ourselves. That needing others somehow diminishes us. That if we can't figure it out alone, we're not enough.
It might have taken me four decades to finally get this (even though I’ve heard the wisdom….I just wasn’t living the wisdom….), which is that most successful, aligned, thriving people aren't the ones who do everything themselves. They're the ones who know when to let the right people in to help. I mean, really help.
What's Possible From Here
We've been sold a story about independence that's only half true.
Yes, you're capable. Yes, you're strong. Yes, you can handle hard things.
But capability doesn't mean you have to carry everything alone.
When we insist on doing it all ourselves, we're not just limiting our growth. We're actually staying stuck in our own limited perspective. We can only see what we can see. We can only know what we know. And no amount of effort will give us the view that someone outside our experience can offer.
Which brings me back to that mirror.
Remember the evil queen in Snow White? "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" She asked the wrong question. She was looking for validation, for proof that she was better than everyone else. She wanted the mirror to tell her what she already believed about herself.
But here's what that story actually teaches us: we all need mirrors. The difference is in what we're asking them to show us.
The queen wanted her mirror to confirm her superiority. What if instead, we asked our mirrors to show us the truth? Not just the pretty parts, but the blind spots. The patterns. The potential we can't see from where we're standing. The greatness we've been downplaying or the habits that are holding us back.
We literally cannot see ourselves clearly without someone reflecting us back to ourselves. And when we find the right mirrors, the ones who will tell us the loving truth instead of what we want to hear, well, what might be possible now?
The belief that we have to do it all alone keeps us small. It keeps us exhausted. It keeps us working twice as hard to get half as far, because we're trying to be excellent at everything instead of staying in the few things we're genuinely meant to do.
The gap between where you are and where you want to be isn't more effort or more independence. It's letting trusted people become mirrors in your life. People who can show you what you're not seeing and reflect back the greatness you've forgotten.
You don't have to keep doing this alone.
Micro-Moves
Here are three ways to start inviting mirrors into your life this week. Pick the one that feels most true for you right now:
Notice where you're white-knuckling it. Think about one area where you've been insisting on handling everything yourself. Maybe it's a decision you've been wrestling with alone, or a responsibility you keep carrying even though it's draining you. This week, reach out to one trusted person and ask for their perspective. Not their answer, just their reflection. What do they see that you might be missing?
Acknowledge the mirrors you already have. Who in your life already sees your greatness, even when you can't? Who reflects back your strengths when you're stuck in self-doubt? This week, reach out to that person and let them know their reflection matters. Tell them specifically what they've helped you see in yourself. Then take it a step further. Ask them what else they see in you that you might not be recognizing right now. Invite them to share more of their perspective. Sometimes the people who love us most are holding back observations because they don't want to overstep. But their honest reflection might be exactly what you need to hear. Create space for them to be a mirror for you, not just once, but ongoing.
Release one thing outside your zone of genius. What's one task or responsibility you're holding onto that someone else could handle better? This week, delegate it or let it go entirely. Notice how it feels to let someone else's strengths support yours instead of trying to be good at everything yourself.
A few questions to sit with:
Where have you been trying to do it all alone?
What would change if you let the right people in?
Who's already been a mirror for you, showing you what you couldn't see on your own?
You don't have to figure this out by yourself. Actually, you grow faster when you don't.
With deep belief in your magnificence,
Laura
P.S. – I'd love to hear your own experience with this. Who has been a mirror for you? Reply and share your story.
And if you're realizing you need those kinds of mirrors in your corner right now, here are ways I can serve you
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1:1 Coaching: We'll work together to identify your blind spots, reconnect you with your zone of genius, and create a path forward that actually fits who you are. This is for high-achievers ready to stop doing it all alone and start building a life that feels as good as it looks. [Learn More]
Career Alignment Accelerator: Let me be your mirror to see what you can’t see. Whether you are trying to land a new full-time role or going off on your own, I will kindly show you your blind spots and where you’re limiting yourself so you can get to your goal faster, with utmost clarity on who you are, what expensive problem you solve, and how to tap into the hidden job market. [Learn More]
Speaking: Ready to transform disengagement into alignment and turnover into retention? Book me for your next keynote, executive retreat, or team meeting. Inspiration + action delivered every time. [Learn More]