You Are the Gatekeeper (And Here's Why That Changes Everything)
I was on LinkedIn last week a few weeks ago when I came across something alarming.
A woman had shared a vulnerable update about leaving her corporate job to start her own consulting practice. She was scared, excited, and beautifully honest about the uncertainty ahead.
The public comments were mostly supportive, but she'd shared in a follow-up with me that some private messages and comments made were... less encouraging.
People reaching out with "concern": "Just want to make sure you've really thought this through. Have you considered how tough the market is right now?"
Others offering "reality checks": "I hope you have a solid financial cushion. It's so hard to make it as a consultant these days."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out, but wow, I could never take that kind of risk with my family counting on me."
I found myself getting heated on behalf of this friend. But then something clicked, a phrase a mentor shared with me years ago that I'd forgotten about.
"Don't accept criticism from people you wouldn't seek advice from."
The Voices That Don't Deserve Your Energy
Here's what I've learned after spending years in rooms with high-achievers: the people who are quickest to criticize your bold moves are usually the ones who've never made any.
The colleague who rolls their eyes when you mention wanting more flexibility? Check their track record. Are they living a life you admire?
The family member who questions your "risky" career change? Look closer. Are they speaking from wisdom or from their own fear of what's possible?
The acquaintance who calls your vision "unrealistic"? Ask yourself: when was the last time they bet on themselves?
I'm not saying we should dismiss all feedback or surround ourselves with yes-people. However, there's a significant difference between constructive input from someone who has walked a similar path and unsolicited criticism from someone who has never left their comfort zone.
You are the gatekeeper of what gets in.
When I Almost Let the Wrong Voices Win
Two years ago, I was seriously considering writing a book. I'd been journaling through my own transformation, and people kept telling me I should share these insights more widely.
But every time I sat down to actually start writing, the internal voices got loud:
"The book market is so saturated." "Do you really think you have something new to say?" "Who are you to write a book? You need more credentials first." "You're not ready. Maybe in a few years when you have more experience."
For months, I let those voices create doubt. I kept putting off the writing, convincing myself I needed more something before I'd be ready.
Then, during one of my quiet morning moments (well, after all the kids left the house), I heard something different. A whisper from God that cut through all the noise: "This is yours to write. Now."
That divine nudge. I felt it. I realized I'd been treating my own inner critic like it was some wise advisor. It was not. Would I actually listen to fear-based thoughts for guidance on my calling?
Uh, NO.
Those internal voices of doubt and "not enough yet"? They weren't qualified to vote on what God had placed in my heart.
Shine Brighter comes out this month (July 29th!). And I can tell you with absolute certainty—it would still be sitting in my journal if I'd kept listening to voices that were rooted in fear rather than faith.
The Advisor Test
Want to know if someone's criticism deserves your attention? Try this simple filter:
If you were facing a major decision in this area of life, would you call this person for guidance?
If the answer is yes, listen. Even if their feedback stings, there's probably wisdom to be found there.
If the answer is no, thank them politely for their input, and then release it completely.
This isn't about arrogance or dismissing those who disagree with you. It's about protecting your energy and your vision from people who aren't qualified to weigh in.
The person criticizing your career pivot—are they living a career that inspires you?
The family member questioning your boundaries—do they have healthy relationships you admire?
The friend dismissing your business idea—have they ever built something from scratch?
Your gatekeeping job isn't to be mean or dismissive. It's to be discerning.
What Changed When I Became the Gatekeeper
Once I started filtering input more intentionally, things started to reveal themselves to me.
Instead of spending hours replaying that passive-aggressive "concern" from acquaintances, I focused on feedback from people whose judgment I actually trusted.
Instead of letting my own inner critic derail my confidence with its familiar refrain of "not ready yet," I remembered that fear-based thinking had never built anything meaningful.
Instead of defending my choices to people who would never understand them, I saved that energy for the work itself.
The result? I made faster decisions. I felt more confident in my direction. I stopped second-guessing myself based on opinions—whether external or internal—from voices that weren't qualified to guide my path.
I became the curator of my own confidence.
But What About Family?
I know what you're thinking….this sounds great in theory, but what about the people we can't avoid? The family members, close friends, or colleagues whose opinions feel harder to dismiss?
Here's what I've learned: love doesn't equal qualification.
Your parents can love you deeply and still not understand your entrepreneurial dreams because they've never been entrepreneurs.
Your spouse can support you completely and still project their own fears onto your bold choices.
Your best friend can care about you immensely and still give terrible advice about something they've never experienced.
Loving someone doesn't automatically make them the right advisor for every area of your life.
You can honor their concern while still being selective about which opinions you allow to influence your decisions.
Your Permission Slip
If you're reading this and thinking about a dream you've been hesitating to pursue, a change you've been afraid to make, or a risk you've been talking yourself out of, please ask yourself:
Who are the voices holding you back, and would you actually seek their advice on this topic?
If the answer is no, you have my permission to stop letting them vote on your life.
Find the people who've walked similar paths. Seek input from those who've faced similar crossroads. Listen to voices that come from experience, not just opinion.
And remember: the biggest risk isn't that you'll fail. It's that you'll let the wrong voices convince you not to try.
Your dreams don't need everyone's approval. They just need your courage and wisdom from people who've been where you're going.
The Gatekeeper's Pledge
This week, I challenge you to become the intentional gatekeeper of what gets into your mental and emotional space.
Before you absorb someone's criticism, ask: Would I go to this person for advice on this topic?
Before you let someone's skepticism derail your confidence, ask: Have they done what I'm trying to do?
Before you defend your choices to someone who will never understand them, ask: Is this conversation worth my energy?
You get to decide whose voices matter. You get to choose which opinions deserve a place in your heart. You get to be selective about who gets a vote on your dreams.
You are the gatekeeper.
Use that power wisely.
With deep belief in your magnificence,
Laura